It's Been Another Week

So, Some quick copy-pasta about my show; 

My show is a thing that will be happening, you can check out the 

Facebook Event Page

, Friday, November 2, 2012 from 6-9pm I will be showing select pages from Lawrence's Dairy, Cinema and 100 Days 2012. I will also have books from each on sale at that show, you don't have to buy anything you don't want to but come out by and hang out, it'll be awesome! We can talk comics and art and have a blast together and things will be pretty awesome I hope.

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It's been another week. I am that much closer to being done but I'm still forever away from being able to take a break, a real break. Have an entire day where the weight of my show isn't pressing on me.. And It's raining outside, fuck. I don't have an umbrella and I walked to borjo.

So, progress:
Cinema, 11 fully penciled, 1 needs a reference for the pose, 2 partially inked, 2 fully inked.
100 Days: 12 fully penciled, 6 fully inked, 2 partially inked, 4 partially colored (give or take, the reference I'm using hasn't been updated for today's progress)
Lawrence's Diary: 12 penciled, 12 inked, partial colors on 4, final pages on 2
No covers, dedication pages, author pages or thanks have been done yet.

I've been really productive this past week. A lot of it is my impending deadline, it still scares me. I have so much work that needs to be done and I feel like I don't have enough time. I've pushed back my finish date for when I want to send out the files twice and I don't have much time left to push it back if I want to mail them out for printing. I think trying to use Fed Ex to self print would cost too much so I'm hoping I get things done. I'm going to do that weird thing of skipping class to get work done, it feels like a Senior Show tradition that I'm upholding or whatever.

So, this weekend was ODU's homecoming. I wouldn't mention it except I think I had my first honest to fucked-up-ness panic attack. I know I have a weird social anxiety sometimes but I think I had a panic attack and it sucked. Or it was just really bad anxiety, I don't know. I was in my apartment working on Saturday being annoyed by football and the cannon and the loud and the people outside. I tried to take a nap and i could still hear them. I woke up freaking out. My heart was racing, I felt sick, everything was awful and I think something hurt. i went to borjo to calm down with some cider with whisky which helped until there was a live performer. I actually liked the type of music he played, his voice and all that. I was not in the place to want to listen to someone player guitar and singing with a Mike Falzone-esque raspy voice. I wanted to calm down, listen to Ben Folds and Movits! a bunch and just calm down.  I did get home calmer than I was going to Borjo but not as calm as I could be. 

I thought about what happened on Sunday and I realized that the problem outside of my hating people and that large of a group of people being anywhere near me was that I had no where to go. I normally go home to get away from external sources of anxiety and home was the problem. There were so many people making so much noise and it pervaded my apartment so much that my safe place was not so safe. I had no where I wanted to go that I felt comfortable being. I didn't really want to be around people which is part of why a musician in borjo was so upsetting, I couldn't just be wrapped in a cocoon of internet and music tuning out the world, there was loud music behind me. Muy mal.

A few weeks ago my car was involved in a hit and run. I was able to take it over to the repair center today and I got a rental. The rental is a Jetta and it makes me want to drive. I want to get a new car after rolling around in this one for a short period of time today. The engine roars and the car eagerly jumps to action and taking me places. Tinkerbell, my car, an elantra, is creaky and 11 years old. The car is weary and worn out. It's like that middle aged high school teacher that doesn't stop kids from being assholes because it can't put in the energy to do anything but put up with their shit. That's my car, it puts up with shit. It groans and grumbles to life and shuttles me around waiting to rest again. The Jetta is like that new teacher what wants to shake up the system and try a million new things. I hate driving and I think I want a new car, some bullshit. 

While typing this I became horribly aware of how much my wrists and fingers hurt. The right hand-system is doing better than the left but I think my glass class has been killing my left hand. Tired fingers, aching wrist, I'm having fun in this class but still, enough of enough I want my hands to not hate me.

Thinking about crafts and arting that hurts a bit, I'm making some new collograph plates for bookmarks. I collected the ones I printed 2 weeks ago, I think I mentioned printing some more last week. Some need a second layer before I'm willing to sell them but i wanted to make some more plates with some luann I had in my car. I'm working on a letter plate so people can chose an initial to buy and I'm working on a second abstract place to mix up the bookmarks a bit. I'll see how the first bunch sell and I'll take a relaxed afternoon in November to print out these new ones. And I'm thinking up a name for a store and soon I'll have that up and linked and my books and things listed. It'll be shiny and fantastic and terrifying if anyone buys my stuff. 

Podcasts:

Mental Illness Happy Hour: I started listening to this the same way I get into any podcast, someone from a different podcast I listen to did it and after listening to their one I got hooked and kept listening. I really like MIHH, it's a podcast where people discuss their mental illnesses. It's sometimes humorous, that's because Paul Gilmartin believes in levity and that sometimes you need to acknowledge how funny your personal situation is. It's presented less as a way to fix other people but more as a way for people to just talk about their problems in a safe environment. In listening to it, I'm reminded that I'm not that fucked up. No matter how bad my anxiety and depression get I soldier on fairly well. I know I need to find someone to talk to to get better control over things but I keep on keepin' on to the best of my ability. 

Girl on Guy: My god, I love girl on guy. It's really just a long recorded conversation between the  amazing Aisha Tyler and a variety of male guests. She's such a dude it's nice to listen to. She drinks, curses and is in general the best inspiration a tomboy could have. Seriously, I want to be her friend, I want to hang out and get drunk with her. She'd drink me under the table and that's okay. Every episode is a bit different, it follows the general podcast form of being an interview but it goes off in fun directions with each guest. I recently listened to the one with Baratunde Thurston and I don't think i've laughed harder at a podcast and I've laughed pretty hard at different podcasts. I'm kind of spotty in going through it, since it doesn't have the strong topic vein as other podcasts I listen to I never know what I'm getting into tonally and I need to be a mood for a tone.

Nerdist: I'm amused it took until my third list of podcasts to list Nerdist, but I'm only discussing 3 a week. Nerdist is about all things geeky and nerdy and then comedy. It's generally light hearted and full of dick jokes. i know what I'm getting into, when I decide to listen to a Nerdist podcast and that is a nice thing. It's just a long rambling conversation, it's introduced me to comedians and i've given plenty of people a chance whose work I was never really big on. it's worked to humanize people a bit, I don't know I can't explain what I like about it well. Go give it a try, find someone whose name you recognize and give it a go. If you don't like it, so be it.