Planning For My Future Sucks

I got out of one of my least favorite conversations. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm going moment to moment, I'm currently trying to focus on getting stuff ready and done for graduation so I'm not thinking about end game so much.  i ran into someone I've known for a few years and we had that trite conversation where he asked me what my plans are, and shit like that.

My plans are to write and draw my own comic. That's been my plan for years. He asked if there was anyone interested in selling them. That currently goes as far as taking some to my local comic shop and giving them a few, I don't have many and I can't afford to re-print them. Also, no one knows me. Yeah, putting them there 'gets my name out' and I planned on taking some books there, just not the original edition. I don't have many of those and I don't know. Maybe I should.

There was also the 'what kind of job do you want' I don't fucking care at this point. Well, that's a bit of a lie, I'm not doing anything with children, housekeeping and I'd rather not have to clean up after anyone as my entire job. I'll work retail, I don't care. I'll work in a coffee shop, I'll try food service, I just need something that will pay me so I can live for a while. That's what's most important, being able to survive and pay my friggin' rent. i don't have the time right now to really think about glamour things like how I'm going to be know. 

I started getting mad during this conversation. I'm not sure if he was trying to mansplain my career options to me. It was all just irritating so I had to leave before I started cursing and being mean out of anger. i'm also tired of people asking me if I know what I'm going to do. I don't fucking know. I know what I want but i can't get that yet, i have no fucking money to get to where I want to be. Why do I have to know? Why do I have to have a plan? Can't I just work at keeping my head above water before I try to figure out which way the coast line is? I mean, fucking hell.

On a less stressed out and angry note, check out these drawings I did. There are a lot of things over at my sketch blog that aren't posted here yet, I haven't done pretty scans of them for here. I also am going to try to get back into filming doodles and warm ups every now and again. I did a camera placement test this week there are two - Owl with Glasses, Kevin Drinking - I have the pipe dream to get a better camera, so that's a thing on my mind. I'll even go for a small video camera, it just needs to be able to shoot long periods of video. Hopefully soon, I don't know. 

Until I write again! What's fun is I have a thing I want to write I just need to do a bunch of set up for it and I haven't had the time to do any of that for a minute. Keep on keepin' on.